artiFACTS!!!
Learn about the greatest movie* that was never made!!!
(*We had to say that so Carl the Flamingo wouldn'tsend the Octopus Cult after us.)
Read our Professor 00G Origin Story NOW!!!
(Or the Octopus Cult might get YOU!!!)
FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG
Sometimes they wear tuxedos. Sometimes they wear tweed jackets. Depends on the vibe. They like their coffee mugs secretly full of wine shaken, not stirred. Not sure why. It makes a lot of stains. And they're not fast lovers. They're very slow. Like turtles. Reeeaaalllyy taking their time. These sunnies won't slip or bounce while you you sip secret wine and make turtle-like love to a fellow doctor. (WE ARE TOO "REAL" DOCTORS, MOM & DAD!!!)
NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.™️
1 NO SLIP
We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame, with its distinguished double nose bridge feature, is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO DISSERTATION
No one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet.