INTRODUCING HERA'S AWKWARD FAMILY REUNION
"My husband slept with 90% of the guests here.
Humans, nymphs, goddesses... If it had junk, he boned it."
"Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. NBD. Really. It's all good. What a fun event. This is fine. Everything is fine."
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS
Family reunions are weird. You gather with people you barely know. You have to do things you don't enjoy, like eat Great-Aunt Twylas sketchy potato-and-cat-hair-salad. You think Grandpa Garrett is sleeping, only to find out at the end of the night he died, which means you were playing dumb games like "water balloon toss" in front of a CORPSE. But here's one thing you can be thankful for: You're not at the goddess Hera's Awkward Family Reunion, where 90% of the guests are her brother/husband's bastard offspring. Oof. Good luck, girl.
(*Well, maybe after Carl the Flamingo.)
BIGGER FRAMES, BETTER COVERAGE, SAME RUNNERS SWAG.
1 NO SLIP
We use enhanced silicon inserts with special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO DEMOGORGANS
100% Guarantee against Demogorgon attacks. *Guarantee not applicable for any runs taking place in the Upside Down.