The sunglasses are a can opener. You're a can. The whoop-ass is the soda. When you move around, you create tiny CO2 bubbles in the whoop-ass, like shaking a can creates tiny CO2 bubbles in the soda. Putting on these sunnies is like opening that can. PSSSHHH! BOOM! The whoop-ass spirit EXPLODES, so you can CRUSH IT!!! This metaphor is 100% perfect and will win many awards. You're welcome.
LIMITED EDITION: BEAST BARBELL
With wider frames, longer arms, and bigger lenses than our OGs, these babies are designed to complement and fit beasters with larger melons.
BIGGER FRAMES, BETTER COVERAGE, SAME RUNNERS SWAG.
1 NO SLIP
We use enhanced silicon inserts with special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO DEMOGORGANS
100% Guarantee against Demogorgon attacks. *Guarantee not applicable for any runs taking place in the Upside Down.