INTRODUCING ZEUS, YOU ARE THE FATHER.
Once he was dragged onto Ancient Greek Television to prove he fathered Ares, but before the results were read he threw lightning bolts at Maurice, the God of Dramatic Reveal. The spirit of Zeus currently lives on in furries.
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS
HAIL ZEUS!!! God of the Sky, and Thirsty Shapeshifter. He turned into all kinds of animals to seduce goddesses, nymphs, and mortals. Swan. Cuckoo. Bull. (Also, Carl the Flamingo SWEARS Zeus morphed into a flamingo once to bone him.) According to God Sex Magazine, Zeus had 57 partners, 54 children, and countless ties for Xmas presents.)
(*Well, maybe after Carl the Flamingo.)
BIGGER FRAMES, BETTER COVERAGE, SAME RUNNERS SWAG.
1 NO SLIP
We use enhanced silicon inserts with special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO DEMOGORGANS
100% Guarantee against Demogorgon attacks. *Guarantee not applicable for any runs taking place in the Upside Down.